Top 10 Totally Real Thoughts You’ve Had While Running
by Minsun Park

Runners on the treadmill look so serene, synchronized and powerful as their sinewy legs power through those punishing runs. But what’s going on in our sweaty heads is anything but serene…

1. Yep. I still hate running. 

2. Why do I do this? Why does anybody do this? Have you ever seen a smiling runner?

3. Crap! My knees/calves/insteps/hips/stomach/back/ass/sciatica hurts!

4. I’m gonna throw up. For real this time.

5. I have to pee. For real this time.

6. 7.0 is NOT a recovery!

7. Could you count ANY slower? Those are not real seconds.

8. Crap! Have I really only been running for five minutes?

9. Why does there have to be a mirror here? Am I breaking out? Is my neck really that big? Is this what I look like when I run? Are those tears?

10. Crushed it! I love running!

BONUS: The trainer’s forgotten about us on the treadmill. I know it. Why is my treadmill so wet? Please let it be water.